I don’ t know what it is about me that makes it extra hard for me to cope with difficult students. Actually, I do know and it’s called a Closed Head Injury. I’ve been running and hiding from that label for almost 22 years, but I’m not as young as I used to be and somehow it always seems to sniff me out.
I think back to a time when I was deep in denial about the severity of my injuries. I had doctors and therapists telling me that things like multitasking, problem solving and frustration tolerance were typically problem areas for Closed Head Injury survivors and I needed to learn some strategies to help me compensate. I, however, would listen and think, “Yeah, but you don’t know me! This may be how it is for your other survivors, but I’m atypical.” But I had no idea.
I have a couple of students this year who, for some reason, just seem to push all my buttons. It’s driving me crazy. Top that off with the fact that this time of year is hard for those very same students, and you have a lit bomb with a very short fuse.
For most of my students the Christmas season is fun. They look forward to the usual things. Time off from school, seeing family, more food than they can eat, lots of presents, but most of all time off from school. I grew up in this world and it makes sense to me.
I know there are other worlds out there, but they always seemed so far away. I have to keep reminding myself that for some of my students time off from school means staying home alone. It means no breakfast and no lunch and sometimes no diner. It means no positive interactions with anyone. It means watching TV and getting glimpses of what the holiday season means...just not for them.
In 1991, when I was in Cognitive Remediation Therapy working on compensation strategies for my stupid closed hear injury, nobody offered any compensation ideas for how to handle being face to face with a nine year old boy who is ignored at home unless he misbehaves. And nobody gave me any strategies for compensating when you find a child who is saving empty food wrappers in her backpack. And no one bothered to tell me that someday it would take every ounce of strength not to burst into tears.
Yes, I have some students who are pushing my “compensation strategy” buttons on a daily basis.
But maybe my buttons needed to be pushed.
4 comments:
I have learned in life that sometimes there are no answers or solutions. It's a hard situation and it always will be hard and the fact that it is hard doesn't mean that something is wrong with you. And when those situations come along, you just endure them.
I know you're right, but I don't endure things well.
We (the PTA and the school) do what we can to help these struggling families. However, I don't care how many Band-Aids you stick on a gunshot wound, if you don't see a doctor you're going to die.
Sometimes I feel like a box of Band-Aids. The cheap knock-off brand at that.
BTW...Brother RLP, thanks for always reading and commenting. Your words help, even if my reply doesn't show it.
Hugh
Yep. And I didn't mean that things can be fixed with Band-Aids. Sometimes you know a doctor is needed, but the patient won't see one, the parents don't care, and to make matters worse, the doctor wouldn't come even if you asked.
So if you are in that situation, I guess you put your Band-Aid on the wound, try to love the wounded person as much as you can, and somehow find a way to live in that tension.
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