If the Walls Could Talk

I’ve written before about the strange and stupid things that have popped out of my mouth while teaching.  And you’d think after almost 20 years of teaching (damn, I’m old!) that I’d have developed some kind of verbal 10-second delay mechanism to help filter my words.  Sadly either that option wasn’t available back in 1964 when I was born, or my parent decided not to pay for the upgrade.  

Whatever the case, I find that every two to three years I’ll be in the hallway with my class after recess and I’ll shout something like, “Boys!  Keep your balls in your hands!” And the whole class explodes in laughter.  Teacher included.

However, this isn’t about something I said, but rather about something I heard.  

Last week I had taken my class to music and I was headed back to my classroom, when I walked by a kindergarten class taking a restroom break.  

I was waving to and high-fiving some of the brothers and sisters of students in my class as they sat in the hall.  (As the only male teacher, I enjoy a kind of celebrity status at my school, and I can’t ignore my fans)  I had just passed the class when from behind me I heard the teacher, in a very calm tone, say, “Steven, is that where your pants belong?”

A smile spread across my face as I fought the temptation to turn around and gawk.  I just walked back to class happy to have been at the right place at the right time.

I’ve been at Moss Haven Elementary for 13 years.  And baby, if the walls could talk...I bet they’d tell some funny stories.