Fruition

Fruition:

fru·i·tion (noun)

fru-i-tion ( froo ish’n)

1.   Completion
2.     Enjoyment of intended outcome
3.     Plant’s fruit production

Fruition.  It’s a funny word.  To me it sounds like a kind of sports energy drink. 

It’s meaning, however, is all too clear…

If you’ve finished a project, completed a race, conquered a foe in battle, or simply written and posted things on your blog in some semblance of the way you have intended, then you have “Fruition.” 

Sadly, the latter is a chore I have failed to “bring to fruition” for one day shy of a month. 

Let me start by saying that I’m not writing this as anything like an excuse for my lack of posting, but rather as a kick in the pants for myself.  It's an attempt to get back in the habit of writing.  A jump-start if you will. 

This has been an extremely hard first semester at school.  An overabundance of change creates a situation where finding a routine is extremely difficult.  I am a creature of habit.  And as such, I desperately need to have a daily schedule that is consistent and methodical.  I can then plan my lessons and plug them in where they go and my days, and weeks work great. 

I think, as much as I hate to admit it, that it probably has something to do with my head injury.  Even as I’m writing that last sentence it pains me to admit that I have some form of disability.  Could I still be battling denial after 20 years?

This year, changes from the state and district are trickling down to my level almost every other week.  It feels like some big wig at the top of the educational mountain drops an idea the size of a pebble that begins rolling down to the trenches.  Then it starts a kind of snowball effect as gains size and momentum.  I’m at the bottom of the mountain feeling like I’ve got things under control when this new idea boulder comes bouncing down the pike and shatters my routine to bits.

I also feel like the left hand isn’t always talking to the right hand.  We have every available minute of the day accounted for, yet one of the pebble chunking guys at the top decides that his pebble (since it will only take 20 -30 minutes out of the day) really needs to be a priority.  Never mind that there are dozens of other guys up there.  Each with what seems like a good idea and pockets full of pebbles.  

All that to say, by the time I get home I’m exhausted and even though I’ve thought of several things I could write about, I need something mindless to do.  And writing is far from mindless, at least for me. 

So there you have it… a glimpse inside the world/mind of a Texas teacher. 

I’m off until January 4, 2011.  My plan is to neither think about school nor act in any way on its behalf. 

I’ll try to keep you posted on how that works out for me.