Denial...Sometimes It's What Keeps You Going

We got Maddie, our dog, from Operation Kindness, no-kill animal shelter here in Dallas. She’s been a part of our family for about 10 years.

The first week of March, Maddie was trotting back down the hallway to her bed after breakfast and her morning constitutional, when she let out a loud yelp and started limping. I assumed she had a sticker or twig stuck between the toes of her paw and had stepped down just right to make it hurt. I carefully checked her paw and couldn’t find anything. I also noticed that I could squeeze her paw fairly tight and she didn’t care. That’s when we took her see to Dr. Murray.

Now, I know Dr. Murray has, on occasion, read my blog, so I’ve got to be careful not to give him a big head. That being said, Dr. Murray is an amazing veterinarian! We’ve had at least five different dogs and cats over the last 12 years who have had Dr. Murray as their primary care physician. He’s cared for and loved on each of our pets like they were his own. And on more than occasion he’s cared for and loved on us as we said good-bye to a friend. He cares for the owners as much as the pets, he’s got the whole ball of wax covered. (I also heard he plays a pretty mean game of golf, but that sounds too good to be true.)

Anyway, turns out Maddie tore her Achilles tendon and needs surgery.

We were scheduled to go on the cruise the very next week, so we scheduled the surgery for the Monday after we returned, and we boarded Maddie with Dr. Murray while we were gone. It seemed like Maddie was going to be back to her old self relatively soon.

Not so…

The plan was to get back from the cruise on Sunday, pick Maddie up on Monday after school and take her to the animal surgery center and she’d be home by Wednesday.

Right after school on Monday I got a call from Dr. Murray.

“Maddie has had some kind of a reaction to one of the pain meds she’s been on. She’s stopped eating, is very lethargic and just isn’t herself. I’ve already canceled the surgery. She’s got to get better before she can handle something like that. You should probably just take her home for a few days, we’ll get her back to normal and then reschedule the surgery.”

I brought Maddie home, hoping being home would help her appetite return, but it was no good. She was up most of the night with liquid coming out of both ends.

She went back to Dr. Murray the next morning.

Maddie spent most of the next week doing in-patient care with Dr. Murray during the day, and at a local Emergency Animal Clinic at night.

She was a mess.

Here’s where the denial comes in. You see, I think down deep inside I knew how bad off Maddie was. However, I just didn’t think about that, or talk about that, or listen to people who were talking about that. If I didn’t entertain such notions, then they wouldn’t become a reality.

Healthy? Not entirely, but it’s a natural part of the (or at least my) grieving process.

I know I’m going to have to say good-bye to my furry little friend one day, but hopefully not any time soon.

I'll keep you posted.

Note: As for Maddie, she’s not completely out of the woods yet, but she’s come a long way. We’re taking it one day at a time and doing everything we can to get as much liquid in that little dog as possible so her kidneys won’t shut down. It’s a roller coaster ride and we’re holding on with white knuckles, just waiting for that last big plunge.