where's MY global warming???

I woke up this morning and the temperature was 11 degrees Fahrenheit. That’s around -11.667 degrees Celsius, and baby, that’s cold.

I live in Dallas Texas…it’s not supposed to be 11 degrees in Dallas Texas!

Now, before all you people up north start with your, “That’s not cold!” or “Come up here to Wiss-caan-sin, and we’ll show you cold!” Let me just say that, yes, it’s colder up there. However, that’s not what I’m talking about.

You see, I live in Texas. One thing I like about Texas is that we DON’T have days where the temperature is only 2 degrees above single digits. And we sure don’t have a full week with temperatures blow freezing!

And what about all this global warming talk? This morning, as I was letting the dog out to do her business, I had to use a stick to break through about a half-inch layer of ice on our fountain. I also had an ice/leaf glacier that had formed on the surface of the pool. It was kind of cool and I had fun playing continental drift, but that’s beside the point.

I’m beginning to wonder that this whole global warming thing wasn’t just some giant hoax masterminded by the Republicans and the Democrats so they would have something big to blame each other for.

All I know is it is 11 degrees Fahrenheit and my fountain is frozen, and my pool needs water, and I can’t add any water, because my hose is also frozen, and I’m cold and I don’t like it.

So where’s my global warming when I need it?