So there I was, teaching about something, when out of the blue the question pops out. I’ve heard it a thousand times, usually from much younger children who really don’t know any better. Even so, it does seem to always throw me off a wee-bit.
“What’s that hole thing in your neck?”
The moment he said it my hand jumped up to my throat to see if my collar were hiding it, which of course it wasn’t. And I suddenly lost my train of thought in mid sentence.
“Benny! You idiot!” Were the words that were somewhat loudly whispered by a few of the students who have been more well trained in the manner department. They knew that it was socially acceptable to look at a person’s deformities, but never to bring them up…at least not in polite conversation.
“No, it’s okay.” I somehow managed to sputter. Trying my best to appear unshaken by the question.
“It’s the scar left from a tracheotomy that I had after a car accident.”
My words were met with eager stares from faces that wanted to know more.
“I wasn’t able to breathe on my own so they had to put a tube in my throat and hook me up to a machine to help me.”
And I quickly changed the topic back to whatever lesson I had been in the middle of.
I limped through the rest of the day feeling extremely self-conscious about my neck.
I’ve had this “hole thing” in my neck for over 18 years…will I ever get used to it?
1 comment:
It is hard to believe it has been that long. Like you, things happen that make me think it was only yesterday. I am thrilled that you are here to explain the hole in your neck and maybe at times the scar on your hear. It is a celebration of life.
Caring, in Georgetown
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