What does Toner Low really mean?

Several years ago I had a Lexmark color ink-jet printer. I enjoyed being able to print in color, but it always seemed like the colors never really came out as bright as I thought they should, and the ink was always running out. I think I had to buy a new ink cartridge about every 30 to 40 days, and they were about 50 bucks a pop!

So there I am, dropping about 600 dollars a year for the luxury of printing in substandard color. That's when my sister called.

Seems the company she was working for was downsizing, or moving, or something where they were dumping all kinds of computer stuff. They were getting rid of everything from computer and monitors to scanners and printers. She told me I could get a used Hewlett Packard Laser-Jet 4050 printer for $100. It would only be black and white, but it would be a laser printer.

While I was excited, I have to admit, I was a little skeptical. For all I knew, I was getting a printer that had been spitting out several thousand pages an hour for years. Not to mention the fact that laser toner is more than double the cost of an ink-jet cartridge. However, my lust for a laser printer won out, and I forked over the $100 for the HP Laser printer.

So I get this new laser printer, plug it in, and get ready to do some serious printing. I don’t know if you’ve ever used an ink-jet printer, but after you print something the ink is still wet, and smears easily. Not so with the laser! I was giddy with anticipation of my first laser print job.

Sadly, the first page I printed didn’t have the crisp clean lines, or the rich dark tones I was expecting from a laser printer, so I set out to solve the problem.

What I didn’t have was an owner’s manual, but I’ve played around with, and self-diagnosed enough with electronics in my life that I was quiet sure I could figure out how to adjust this machine without the manual.

I quickly figured out how to run a diagnostic page, and in seconds was looking over the complete usage history of my printer.

One of the first things I noticed was that the page count was at just at 15,399. Then I saw that its first preventive maintenance (which I assume is like a tune-up) is at 200,000 pages, and I was a long way from that there!

Next I noticed a toner gauge at the bottom of the page. It was on empty. I went online and saw that I was going to have to spend another 100 bucks for toner. Suddenly this was looking like I had made a bad decision. But I got the new toner, and ran a second diagnostic page.

This page looked completely different! The first page had all the same words, but the background was white and the letters seemed at tad sketchy and a bit faded. The second page had crisp, clear lines with an almost 3D look. And there was an HP logo background over the entire page. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

At this point I had spent $200 dollars for this new printer, but I still wasn’t sure if it was going to save any money. Remember, I was spending about 600 dollars a year for ink-jet ink, and if this laser toner didn’t last at least twice as long, I was in for a substantial increase in printer costs.

I stuck a piece of masking tape on the toner cartridge and wrote the date, and page count. That way, the next time I had to change the toner, I would have an idea of how much money this machine was costing me.

Recently the printer’s little screen stared saying, “Toner Low.” I checked the date on the masking tape, and ran a new diagnostic page just the other day. The diagnostic page showed my page count to be 22,872. That means I’m a mere 7,473 pages closer to my 200,000 page preventative maintenance. I also checked the toner gauge and it’s slightly above the 50% mark. The date on the tape was November 12, 2001. In four years, I’ve printed close to 7,500 pages, and only used half of my toner. I haven't even had to think about toner for over four years! But I still get this "Toner Low" message.

I wonder what that means?

Strange Memory

Unlike the title might suggest this isn’t a posting about some strange memory I’ve been having. Suffice it to say, I have more than my fair share of those, but this is about the act of having a memory that could be characterized as being strange.

The other day my M and I were discussing memory and how she feels her memory is somehow faulty or deficient. While she has memories of different people and events throughout her life, she, and this is her perception, doesn’t feel like she has very detailed memories of those people or events.

I, on the other hand, feel like my memory is oddly detailed. I can recall all manner of details about different places and things that we have been to, or done over the last 17 years that M either has no memory of, or remembers without much detail. However, I’m forced to wonder if I truly have a really detailed memory, or if subconsciously I’m fabricating these details in order to create memories that make sense? Who knows?

What M does have, that I’m extremely jealous of, is a fantastic short-term memory. Thanks to a closed head injury, which I first told you about here, my short-term memory is the pits! If I meet someone and hear his or her name, but don’t use it right away, it’s gone in a matter of seconds. M, on the other hand, can hear a name one time and remember it forever…or so it seems.

If given a choice, I would take M’s fantastic short-term memory over my bizarrely detailed memory any day of the week, but I guess that’s not possible.

So this leaves me with one question:

Who has the strange memory?

The Costco Buying Frenzy!

Well, I finally went, and it was better than I could have imagined!

Wanda and Derrick took us for our Costco initiation. First, we had to redeem our gift certificate for our membership cards with our pictures on them. (Although I’m forced to wonder if anyone really ever looks at the picture on the back of the card)

After getting our cards, which act like your ticket to enter the shopping magic kingdom, we walked around the corner and I stood there as my brain tried to soak it all in. I really didn’t think they were going to have EVERYTHING, but now I’m a believer.

I walked around in stunned silence as Wanda and Derrick grabbed the few things they had on their list and then the tour began.

At first, I didn’t see any real organization behind the layout of the store. It appeared like tables of whatever product they happened to get in that day were simply tossed into whatever space happened to be available. However, it wasn’t long before the philosophy behind their madness began to sink in and make sense.

While items such as clothes, automotive/mechanical, frozen foods and entertainment, to name a few, had their own areas, it was impossible to walk in and go directly to the area you were looking for and not pass by a sampling of hundreds of different types of food or merchandise. While this can seem quite frustrating, there’s a method to their madness.

If you put your blinders on and go to Costco with tunnel vision, then you can walk in and out and only purchase the item or items that you came there to buy.

However, if you are like 99% of the people who walk into Costco, you’re going to discover hundreds of things you need that you had no idea you needed before going into the store. This was our fate.

In my mind we were going to check the store out, buy a new combination DVD VCR player, maybe buy something small for our daughter M, and that was it.

I quickly found the prefect DVD VCR player. I had seen the same one in at the electronics store for $139.99, but I got it a Costco for $79.99. That’s a HUGE savings in my book.

Anyway, I found it, and I was ready to look around…that was my downfall.

I couldn’t turn around without seeing something that looked like it would be fun to have, or that I had forgotten that I needed. And then something else would end up in the basket.

They also have people strategically placed throughout the store at little kiosks cooking, and handing out samples of all kinds of food products. I tasted five different kinds of cookies, several small sampling of roasted chicken, two or three different kinds of bread, vegetarian sausage, and a strawberry yogurt smoothie. I could easily go there for dinner.

Before I knew it, our basket was full. However, it wasn’t until I was unloading my cart onto the conveyor belt, and I got down to the DVD VCR player, the one item I had intended to buy, that I understood the pure genius behind the whole “Organized Mess” philosophy of Costco.

Could this have been Costco’s plan all along? How did they know that if they could get me past the security and into the store, I would not only buy what I came for, but a host of other items as well?

Here is what we took home that day:
· DVD VCR player
· A purple swimsuit for M’s summer camp
· Three extra large bottles of different types of vitamins
· One whole roasted chicken (still warm)
· A box of three large frozen pizzas
· A bag of frozen edamame (click to find out more about edamame)
· Two packages of 24 boxes Valentine’s Smarties for M’s class

I must admit, spent more time and money than I meant to that day, but I had a blast.

Next time, Costco won’t be able to suck me into its buying frenzy so easily…or will they?

A Fun, Yet Stinging Memory

You know how sometimes you see or hear something that reminds you of something you have either forgotten, or just not thought about for a very long time? Well, that happened to me just the other day, and it was a fun memory from my childhood…well, kind of fun.

During a writing lesson at school the topic somehow turned to tornados. The natural progression of this conversation somehow turned into a discussion of whirlwinds and Dust Devils. Now, Dust Devil is a term I am very familiar with, but haven’t had much of a need to use or even think about for many years.

I’ve written before about growing up in El Paso, the west Texas of west Texas. Basically, El Paso is a in the middle of a big desert. It’s very dry with lots and lots of sand, and Dust Devils are very common.

The playground at my elementary school was a huge sandbox. You could dig down about four to six inches, clear away the sand and find a hardened clay base. It was on this base that we would play marbles, or sometimes use sticks to carve out little caves. It was a fun playground.

However, there were times, and to the best of my recollection they happened daily, when the Dust Devils would come. First, you would hear the screams of the children as they ran trying to escape the stinging winds. You’d look up to see the funnel cloud of swirling sand moving across the playground, and pray it wasn’t heading your way.

More often than not, you either weren’t in the path of the Dust Devil, or you could simply run out of its line of fire.

The times I couldn’t avoid these sandy monsters are burned into my memory. For you see, this was sand blowing at speeds of up to 70 miles per hour, and all you could do was turn your back to the storm, clamp your eyes and mouth shut, and brace yourself for its merciless attack.

Most times the onslaught would end in a matter of seconds, but it would leave you with a burning reminder that mother nature's not always your friend.

So there I was, a first grader facing the harsh realities of a cruel and hostile playground, with little more than my quick wit and the speed of my Converse Chuck Taylor high-tops to protect me from the savage west Texas weather. But I had something these fierce beasts weren’t counting on…an older brother who not only had been out in the world fighting the elements three years longer than I had, but whose wisdom in matters like this was legendary…at least in my mind.

“Look Hugh, when these Dust Devils come up here’s what you do,” he said using his best advice giving voice. “I know your first impulse is to turn your back and shut your eyes when they’re coming toward you, but that’s the wrong thing to do.”

Now, this is where I should have figured out that something was amiss, but I was young and trusting. Besides, this was my brother talking and he wouldn’t lead me astray on such a life and death matter.

“You have to face the storm,” he said, “look straight at it and don’t move.”

“But won’t hurt even more?”

“It seems like it would, but for some reason you looking straight at it, and the spinning sand not going in a straight line makes it impossible for the sand to get in your eyes. It also doesn’t hurt as much.”

And I bought it hook, line, and sinker!

I don’t know how long it was before I had the occasion to test my newfound Dust Devil deterrent, but it plays back in my mind like a nightmare forever stuck in an endless, slow motion loop.

I’m on the playground. I’ve got plenty of time to escape the approaching menace, but unlike my friends who franticly scramble for safety, I stand my ground, safe in the knowledge that I can beat my oncoming foe. I may have even moved into its path.

So there I was, standing feet apart, hands on my hips, eyes wide open staring down the approaching Dust Devil.

It wasn’t until the outer layers of the now giant swirling mass of sand reached me that I began doubting my brother’s wisdom.

I’m forced to admit that the strong winds and spinning sand paint a both beautiful and remarkable picture. But that’s not a silhouette you want tattooed on your eyeballs!

The whole event was over before I ever had a chance to run. Sinking to my knees, I struggled to rub bucketfuls of sand from my now bloodshot eyes as my friends who, watching from a safe distance, now all ran to my aid wondering what in the hell I was thinking.

I’m not sure how, but somewhere off in the distance...I heard a familiar laugh.

Costco and Me

Our friends, Wanda and Derrick, gave us a membership to Costco for Christmas.

I’m quite sure Costco stores are everywhere, but just in case I’m mistaken, here’s the skinny: Costco is huge store that has everything from groceries and building supplies, to electronics and underwear. This place is HUGE!

I’ve never actually been to Costco, although the half hour drive to my mother-in-law’s house takes me dangerously close. Driving by, I have to stop myself from drooling as my mind longingly imagines the endless wonders hidden away inside the massive structure. My best guess is that it is somewhat akin to a Sam’s Club store, but according to our friends, it’s much better.

Anyway, you have to have a membership, and while I’ve wanted to get one for years now, it’s always been one of those things I want to do, but just haven’t gotten around to yet. (It seems I have quite a few things on this list!)

So now I’ve had my membership for one complete week and while I’m itching to go, for some unknown reason I haven’t yet.

However, rest assured that once I make my maiden voyage to this, the Disneyland of low cost shopping warehouses, I’ll not only save lots of money buying all kinds of stuff, but I’ll write all about it.

Until then…it’s Costco or bust!