Mike the Singer... Round II

I’m reposting this for Keith.  I originally posted this back in November of 2004.

Enjoy,

Hugh

Mike the Singer

Now Mike was a guy

And he loved to sing

And Mike, he would sing

About most anything

Seems his focus was people

On every occasion

And he’d sing about folks

Of most any persuasion

One day, his songs told

Of a guy on a Harley

Whose clothes were a mess

And his face, it was gnarly

By the look of this guy

You could tell he chewed nails

And I’m certain he’d broke

Out of quite a few jails

Without thought for his safety

Mike started his song

And at first the guy sat there

Like nothing was wrong

When Mike got to the part

About a gross nasty smell

The biker guy looked like

Things weren’t going well

The biker guy stared

With a twitch in his eye

And he seemed to be thinking

Of ways Mike could die

When the song turned to baldness

The guy lost his cool

From a bag he produced

A quite strange looking tool

As he headed toward Mike

People started to hide

But the guy dropped his tool

He sat down, and he cried

See, Mike’s song didn’t change

Not even one part

But he touched that mean biker dude

Deep in his heart

The biker got up

Wiped his face with a sigh

Then he drove that weird tool

Right straight through Mike’s left eye

The biker was touched

That’s all I can say

And Mike learned

A valuable lesson that day

You can’t sing about bikers

Without one single care

That is, not unless

You’ve an eye, you can spare

Here is the comment Real Live Preacher, my brother, left back in 2004.  His comment really made me laugh... and I kind of like the idea of Dr. Suess meeting Quentin Tarantino.

Dare I admit I'm your brother?



Yeah, this is real live preacher.



Okay, I remember when you wrote this, some years ago, and sent it to me. When I got to the end, I was horrified and disturbed, then laughed at the "eye you can spare" line.




Then I felt crappy at having laughed. Then I felt mad at you for dragging me all the way to the end and then turning into Dr. Seuss meets Quentin Tarantino.



As if anyone has an eye to spare...



I don't know man, you one weird duckie!

Conversations are Odd...

I went to a dinner party last night at the home of some friends. There were five couples and the conversations were quite engaging. I decided a poem was in order. However, as I was writing the poem this morning I started feeling a bit like Dr. Suess…I think you’ll see what I mean.

Enjoy

It’s funny the way conversations do flow,

At times they start off rather dull and quite slow

They muddle along and don’t go anywhere,

You sit with eyes glazed pulling out locks of hair

You’re sitting there wondering why words have to suck,

When someone blurts out the phrase, “Mickey the Muck”

Then you listen as some bloke recites this odd ballad,

Next someone’s telling tales of massaging a salad!

The night’s conversations take off into space,

No topic’s taboo…no not at this place

We talked about names both funny and strange,

About raccoons and chimneys and goats on the range

We spoke of odd habits and scrum-dilly-dinkers,

We mentioned blum-bloomers and twee-twilly-twinkers

We solved the world’s problems at least in our head,

There was no need to plan the things that you said

There were shots of Tequila that some of us had,

It went down rather smooth and it wasn’t half bad

We laughed and we chatted long into the night,

And everything clicked cause our world was all right

When names of our kids became topic of choice,

I decided I had thoughts I needed to voice

Name your child how you like, on creative wings fly,

If you choose “Kitchen Counter” well, that’s just TMI

It was somewhere past midnight when things settled down,

And our conversations had gone round and round

We hugged and shook hands saying bye to each friend,

Conversations are odd, but they all have to end

Twenty Years Ago Yesterday

Twenty years ago yesterday Melissa and I were in the car accident that would change our lives forever

Twenty years ago yesterday I woke up in the morning and had no idea my life would never be the same

Twenty years ago yesterday in some ways feels so far away

Twenty years ago yesterday in many ways feels like today

Twenty years ago yesterday is a day that took over my life

Twenty years ago yesterday is a day that has haunted me

Twenty years ago yesterday is a day I’ve cursed with every ounce of strength I could muster

Twenty years ago yesterday is a day I can finally thank the Lord for

Twenty years ago today was the first day of a brand new life

History of Cut & Shoot Texas

One of my comments on my last post asked how the small, oddly named town got its name. I had no idea, but in my mind I had dreams of a town named for a descriptive, yet quaint kind of farming or prospecting metaphor. Not so.

Here’s what I found:

Cut & Shoot is a city in eastern Montgomery County, Texas, United States, about 6 miles east of Conroe and 40 miles north of Houston. The population was 1,158 at the 2000 census, at which time it was a town; the community only became a city in August 2006.

The City Hall of Cut and Shoot, Texas

According to local legend, Cut and Shoot was named after a 1912 community confrontation that almost led to violence. According to differing versions of the story, the dispute was either over:

• · The design of a new steeple for the town's only church, or
• · The issue of who should be allowed to preach there, or
• · The conflicting land claims among church members.

Whatever the circumstances were, a small boy at the scene reportedly declared "I'm going to cut around the corner and shoot through the bushes in a minute!"

This statement apparently stayed in the residents' minds and was eventually adopted as the town's name.

Sadly, the townsfolk must not have been all with us. I mean come on! You’re building a church and having a fight about the steeple, BEFORE you even have a name for your town? What kind of people are we talking about?

And then the best name you can come up with is something a boy yelled about cutting around a corner and shooting through some bushes…I can’ believe the town lasted more than a week. What’s more I guess they’re lucky the town’s not called, “I stepped in dog poop!”

Using Cut & Shoot logic I’m surprised we don’t have a string of towns across the state called, “Tag, you’re it!”, or “Dad! I’ve got to pee!” or “Here, pull my finger!”

And there you have it…more that you ever wanted to know about the less than romantic name origins of an obscure little town in southeast Texas.

Note:

I could be wrong, but I do believe my mother actually lived in Cut & Shoot back in the 1940’s. Maybe I should ask her about the name. However, by the time she lived there those poor people had been living with that goofy name for over 30 years. My guess is that boy had been strung up, or run out of town long before she got there.