Kids say the darndest things

So we’re in the middle of a writing lesson, but not just any writing lesson, oh no, this was a lesson being taught by the school’s, if not the district’s, most knowledgeable teacher. (We’ll call her JF for short) JF, from time to time, is able to come in our class and “Guest Lecture.”

The lesson was on when, why, where and how to take your writing and go deeper with details. Details that can make the difference between a story that is well written and easy to read, and one that truly comes alive for the reader.

JF was using the nursery rhyme Little Miss Muffet as her background text. She used this story for two reasons, first, because all the children already know the rhyme, and second, because it’s short and easy to finish in a couple days.

She instructed everyone to close their eyes and imagine how Little Miss Muffet looked to them. Then we opened our eyes and gave details about what she looks like, what she was doing, where she was and that sort of thing.

Jf had already taken quite a few notes about how you could tell that Miss Muffet was scared, and was in the middle of making a list of details about her size. I was sitting off to the side and was helping as best as I could. (Remember, this lady has forgotten more about teaching writing than I’ll ever know!) Then it happened.

We already had details like, “Skinny as a stick, dirty clothes, and messy hair.” However, what the next child thought of took us all by surprise.

“I think she’s flat chested,” said a small voice from the middle of the room. Even as the words were floating out into the room, I felt my jaw tighten, and my lips pucker. My head did a mental Google search. I was hoping I had heard her wrong and that my mind might come up with some alternative to the words, “FLAT CHESTED.” But alas, my ears hadn’t failed me.

JF simple stood there with a thoughtful look in her eye. After about 5 seconds she said in normal, level toned voice, “Okay, we can put that.”

I, on the other hand, was having to fain sudden, and urgent business in the dictionary. I sat there doing everything I could do to not make eye contact with anyone, and also not to laugh. I knew, that at least for me, eye contact would mean sudden, and uncontrollable laughter.

I’m sitting there trying to concentrate on how proud I am of JF for not laughing, when she bursts out laughing.

Of course, after that a good laugh was had by all…even those who had no idea what we were actually laughing at.

Ah, kids…they say the darndest things.