I’m discussing the progress of my students with another teacher when I start complaining about how often a certain student in my class has been absent this year. She transferred into my class sometime during the second six weeks and has been absent or tardy close to 20 times. Her saving grace is her sweet personality. She’s never a behavior problem, works hard and always does her best.
I must admit that if she were any kind of a behavior problem I would probably have pitched a fit months ago. However, right or wrong, I tend to be a bit more forgiving with students who work with me.
Anyway, this child was absent three days in a row this week, and that’s why I found myself complaining. When she showed back up on Friday I was quick to tell her we missed her, but either didn’t have the time or the desire to inquire about reason for her latest absences. I just assumed she was sick…again. When she showed me that she had done all her spelling and reading homework I smiled big, said “Wow,” and gave her a Good Citizen, (a reward coupon that our school uses). Then we started our day.
It wasn’t until sometime after lunch that she came up and asked if I wanted to know why she had been gone. I slapped on my best concerned face and said, “Sure.”
“My Daddy died.”
I found myself frantically searching for words. Words that never came. Somehow I managed to blurt out something about being sorry and I gave her a hug.
Turns out he’d been sick for quite a while and many days that’s why she had been gone. She had never said anything about her dad being sick, and to tell the truth I’m not sure why she would have.
After school I was in the office when I told the teacher I had been complaining to about what an ass I was for complaining and not first finding out what was going on in this poor child’s life. That’s when I found out that her mother has cancer.
Standing there I felt awful. How can I expect anyone, let alone a child, to make school a priority when her world is being turned upside-down?
Like I said, I felt like a total ass.
2 comments:
Nah, you're not an ass. You're a person who works with people. And you follow a set of guidelines that usually works. But sometimes some child will have some particular situation for which there are no answers.
An ass would have heard her story and still not cared about her. Or said something like, "Well, let's try to do better, okay?"
your brother
Can you only imagine what she is going through.... But..she finally felt comfortable sharing the truth with you. That should mean a lot. You did good, Hugh! Your students love you because you are not the ass that most people end up being in this world.
I love you-Janan
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