Chinese Baptist Church

Growing up in El Paso, the son of a Baptist minister, I attended worship in a Chinese Baptist church three or four times before the age of 8.  About the only thing I remember about those services was being able to sing (at least the first verse) of most of the hymns that were sung.  I also remember not being able to understand a single word that was spoken from the pulpit, and being mesmerized by the way the words were written in the bible.  I’m pretty sure I spent the sermon part of the service trying to figure out the Chinese language… I never did.

However, that was probably 40 years ago, so time has neatly stored most of my memories of those days away in the dark recesses of my mind and tagged most of them with the a sign that reads, “unrecoverable.”

I haven’t thought about those days for many years now.  To tell the truth, it wasn’t until I had returned to worship in a Chinese Baptist church that I even remembered I had ever experienced it before. 

Now, it may seem a little odd, but my father is currently the pastor of a Southwest Chinese Baptist Church in Houston, Texas.  The church’s pastor left and Dad is the interim pastor while the church searches for a new pastor.  This new pastor must be a person who can speak, read and preach in Cantonese.

I know what you’re thinking, “Hugh, I didn’t think you were of Asian descent.”  You are correct, I am not.   You many also be wondering about my father’s command of the Cantonese language.   I’m proud to announce that after a couple of years, Dad can quite clearly pronounce several phrases in the native tongue of his congregation.  I’ve heard him say, “Hello,” “Thank you,” “May God be with you,” and of course, “Which way to the restroom?”

Anyway, Melissa and I headed south to Houston last Friday with our good friends Winji and Darryl. Winji and Darryl, both being Chinese, were a little curious about my dad’s current pastorate.  Together, we went down, spent the weekend in Houston, and experienced a service that had to be translated from English to Cantonese, or Cantonese to English depending on who was talking at the time. 

In the end I was really impressed with both the church, my worship experience and my dad’s ability to pause every few sentences and wait for the translator to catch up.  I knew he was going to have to be doing that, but I hadn’t really thought about how it could chop up your thinking as well as you words. 

It was easy to see why my mother and father enjoy Southwest so much.  The people are friendly and very welcoming.  After the service we went out to eat at Dad’s favorite Chinese restaurant.  And I’m here to tell you that the food was good and unbelievably plentiful.  It literally just kept coming and coming and coming. 

In the end a good time was had by all.

So if you’re I Houston and looking for a church whose service is half in Cantonese and half in English, give Southwest Chinese Baptist Church a try.  If you do, tell Pastor Atkinson that you read about it here.  Who knows, maybe he’ll take you to his favorite Chinese restaurant.  

what have i become?

When you’re a teacher, nay, a human being, and your first thoughts are not about the physical and mental well-being of a child, but rather is he or she going to be able to pass the TAKS test, and if not, how it will reflect on you… then baby, you deserve everything you get!

I’m quite positive there is a dark, lonely corner of hell with my name on it…

Dinner With Friends...

Last night I sat down, and had dinner with friends,

And when we start to talk, well the fun never ends

We’re sitting enjoying a great southern meal,

When the sound of gas passing, broke up the ordeal

I glanced at my wife, and she shot my glance back,

When it happened again, we were under attack!

There is one lovely lady, a lawyer I think,

Who was blaming her husband for making things stink

Not having hard proof, she would not win the case,

Cause there were prime suspects all over the place

And that’s when the voice of our hostess, piped-up,

“Those sounds you are hearing, they come from our pup!”

First a moment of silence, and next a loud roar,

The whole room fell apart, what we heard was dog snore!

Turns out their small dog, had crawled under the table,

They swear he was snoring, but that could be a fable

The evening’s enjoyment, kept rambling on,

We ate fried jalapenos, until they were gone

Playing foosball we learned, with a wink and a nod,

That it’s bad etiquette, if you grab a man’s rod

There was talk of all kinds, soaring round in the air,

Conversations-a-plenty, for we hadn’t a care

One by one couples figured, it was time to go,

And that put an end to, the night’s halftime show

But the one thing that stuck, down deep in my heart,

Is that fact that a dog’s snore, sounds much like a fart!

What’s in a Name???

 I haven’t written in a while.   I’ve think about it almost daily; however, it never seems to get accomplished. 

I blame it on the season.  You see, for me, and every public school teacher (at least those teaching 3^rd to 12^th grade) this is TAKS season. 

Not Tax season, although it is that as well, but TAKS season.

For those of you not in Texas, or who don’t have children in public school, TAKS stands for; Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills.

TAKS season is a stressful time for me.  I tend to worry and borrow trouble, so that only adds to my stress.  Top that off with two days of after school tutoring to 4:30, and Saturday School (an evil spawn of the devil!) and I get home too weary to write.

I know, that you know, that I’ve written and whined about the TAKS test for years.  But what you may not know is that this is absolutely the last year I will ever complain about the TAKS test.  After June 3, 2011, TAKS test complaining is a thing of the past…at least for me.  “Why?” You may be asking.  Well, I’ll tell you.  It’s all because this is the last TAKS test year. 

After this year the test will is called STAAR.  I think it stands for:

 State of Texas, Academic Assessment Registry, or Response, or Retrospective, or some other “R” word. 

Amidst all the hub-bub of the faculty meeting where we first learned of the new test, I found myself wondering not whether this test would be the same format, not whether it would be longer or shorter, and not if it would still be multiple choice or short answer.  In fact I didn’t find myself wondering anything about the test at all.  What my brain had fixated on was “Who?”  Who had the super cool job thinking up the acronyms for these tests?

I WANT THAT JOB!

Here are a few I came up with:

Knowledge Readiness Assessment of Progress – or K.R.A.P.

Progressive Observation Of Progress – or P.O.O.P.

State of Texas Unified Process of Intelligence Determination – or S.T.U.P.I.D.

State Hierarchy of Intelligence Testing – or S.H.I.T. (Sorry Mom!)

Let me know what you think, and feel free to add to the list.  Who know, maybe I’ll email the list to Governor Fancy Hair.


P.S. I didn't realize until after I had posted my story and went back to reread, that three fourths of my acronyms are slang terms for fecal material...Hmmm? I wonder how I really feel?